Windows XP on the Big Screen!
I’ve noticed an uptick in the trend to bring back older movies from the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s to local theaters. I think it’s a great idea, but unnecessary in our day and age.
I can see the appeal. You can watch an old movie on a large screen with high quality audio. It’s easy to do now because there are no unwieldy film reels to deal with. All the movies are delivered over the internet or on hard disk drives that basically load into a fancy digital projector. Kinda irks me when they splash the Sony 4K logo before a movie. Really? You are proud that your resolution is lower than celluloid?
The real reason movies are coming back out is because Hollywood is out of ideas. They’ve rebooted every movie franchise they can think of. They’ve created movies based on video and board games. The only untapped market is the cereal industry. I’d pay to see a movie where Captain Crunch fights Count Chocula, Franken and Boo Berry like Van Helsing.
Regal Premium Experience has been out for a few years, and in my opinion, is worth the extra price if you must see a movie at the theater. You get a comfortable seat, a huge screen, and super loud audio with many speakers. I used to go for the 3D version but have since switched to 2D only because the picture is much sharper. They could make it even more premiumer if they had some way to keep the movie commentators quiet. Maybe some sort of EMP to disable all cell phones so that we are not blinded by blue screen light as we are engrossed in a Xenomorph chomping it’s way out of a human body cavity.
Of course at my house, I have a pretty large screen, super loud surround speakers, and all the popcorn I want to eat. Click here for my recipe for movie style popcorn at home. Of course I can pause the movie anytime I want so no one interrupts the Xenomorph cavity carnage.
So this morning I decided to show my kids the opening scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Later this evening we watched The Boss Baby and there was a reference to that scene. Maybe that will help them forget about Alfred Molina with a face full of spikes.
I guess I forgot how violent some of the movies I grew up with were. I’ll need to pre-screen some of my favorites before I make that attempt again. The rating system of my youth is not the same of today that’s for sure.
The mid and end credit scenes are really just a way to get you to read all the names of the people who made the movie. That, and see job titles didn't know existed. You will then wonder how much an assistant food dolly gripper makes and if it's the right career movie at this point in your life.
The end credit scenes have never been so good that it makes it worth the wait, and yet I still watch them all. Just leave the theater! Then go read a fanboy website that will explain and or theorize what it all means. Then hear them rant about people are bandwagon fans and they didn't read the comics growing up. Well, you are right, I was too busy pitching no hitters and hitting home runs in little league when I was a kid. Now I can just watch the movie.
When you go to a movie do you sit and enjoy the movie or do you run your mouth with inane commentary? If you are one of the people who doesn’t shut up during a film then you should probably wait until the DVD/Blu-ray/VHS/Laserdisc is released. There are people who are sitting near you that are on the edge of dumping a soda in your lap. Yes, I purchase the option for free refills.
I’m so glad that my local theater has reserved seating for movies. However, what happens when it’s a really popular movie and people line up hours early? I ask, why are you lining up if you have reserved seating. I’m wanting to see how well this works out for Star Wars The Last Jedi. When I went to see The Force Awakens reserved seating wasn’t invented yet at my theater. The line snaked around the circumference of the snack bar. I think in the back of peoples mind they don’t want to risk losing their seat so they show up early.
So what do you do when you get to your seat and someone is sitting there?
$1000 bucket of popcorn?
Why is movie popcorn so delicious, but yet we can never seem to replicate it at home? I’ve gotten pretty close and here’s my secret recipe.
Start with really good popcorn
I recommend Orville Redenbacher because of the quality control and consistency. Don’t buy store brands because they are all terrible. I may be wrong, but I don’t care. Store in an airtight container in the pantry.
Use Coconut oil
Pop your kernels in coconut oil, that’s what the theater’s use. It has a high smoke point so it can get really hot and explode the kernels much better. Plus it tastes better.
Use fine ground salt
Popcorn salt is different, it’s super finely ground so that it sticks to all the popcorn’s intricate crevasses.
Top it off with fake butter
Real butter is good, but if you wan to get close to the movie theater taste then lube up your bowl with this Kernel Seasoning Oil. It may be unnatural, but we aren’t going for healthful when eating movie theater popcorn. We are going for taste, and this one is pretty close.
There are several ways to pop the corn, but my favorite is the Stir-Crazy.