Don’t visit Disney World During a Hurricane

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Walt Disney telling you to leave!

When a hurricane is there

The park will be closed and you won’t be able to get through the gates, well you probably could, but you would go to jail.

When it’s hot

You will sweat profusely and you will get dehydrated if you don’t buy the $4 bottles of water. Don’t drink the soda and beer or you will dehydrate faster. And be broker faster

When there are numerous amount of people there

Holiday’s and weekends are the worst, and holiday weekends are a no-brainier to stay away.

When you just bought new shoes

That is, unless you like blisters on your feet. Never take a brand new pair of shoes into the park. Don’t buy a brand new pair of waterproof timberland boots for your July trip. You will be filled with suffering.

When a new ride is open

Well, it might be a good time to visit other areas of the parks

When a new area is open

I can’t imagine what masses of humanity will be drawn to the parks once Toy Story Land and Star Wars Galaxies Edge are open.

Remember, there is no slow season no matter what anyone tells you. If you are going to go, just do it and enjoy your time. If someone says they got on all the rides with no waiting they are lying, and you shouldn’t be friends with liars.

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Disney shutting down Pirates of the Caribbean “Auction”

So Disney has decided to remove the “human trafficking” scene in the popular Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland and Magic Kingdom. Yes, the pirates ride. Just look up what real pirates pirates have done in the past. So if you really think about it, the whole ride should be shut down. This scene is about to be removed but, war mongering, torture, arson, thievery, drunkenness, domestic violence towards men scenes will stay.

Please just leave the rides alone.

Coolest rides at Disney’s Magic Kingdom

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When I say coolest rides, I mean rides that you can sit down and cool off. These are not necessarily fun rides, but rides when you need a  break from the heat and crowds and want to relax a bit. Here are my go-to rides that have relatively low wait to ride ratios.

Carousel of Progress

Large air conditioned theater, low lights and a nice history lesson. I have noticed that people will get up in the middle of ride and exit, which will prompt the PA announcer to bellow out hateful instructions to park their can in the seat. But this is my go to ride on when I’m exhausted, it’s the most comfortable.

Haunted Mansion

Again, cold and dark, but a bit funky smelling. One portion of the ride even reclines so that you can stretch out a bit. Very relaxing until that hitchhiker at the end removes your noggin.

People Mover

It’s air conditioned the old fashioned way, wind! Pretty comfortable and they will let you stay on if it’s not to busy. Sit back, put your feet up and don’t forget to WOOO! when you ride past Space Mountain.

Hall of Presidents

Another great show with some history, ignore the massive revisionist history. Just enjoy the show and the people booing Barack Obama and Donald Trump robots.

Disney World Railroad

Best if you ride in the evening and get some more of that wind air conditioning. You can ride as long as you like and it makes a nice alternative from walking from Frontier Land to Main Street at the end of the day.

An Introverts Disney World Survival Guide

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Walt showing you the way out!

Well, the title can be misleading, as a recovering introvert, you will be exposed to more people than you will ever experience in your. You will have to set aside your need for quiet, conformity and perfectionism. This will be messy, but here’s my best tips.

Stay on Property

I don’t care how much it costs, don’t be a cheap-wad. Staying on property is worth every penny. You get a fantastic themed room, great bus service, and free parking if you get tired of someones butt in your face after you’ve raced to get a seat on the transport. Just don’t stay until the park closes, otherwise you will be waiting in one of those cattle corrals for about an hour.

Take a small bag, but only one.

Dads, haul the bag through security and let your family browse the overpriced items near the entrance. It’s a bad idea to have everyone bring a bag. Your wife will thank you for leaving her purse in the car. I use a small sling pack that can hold tons of stuff. What to put in the bag? Keep reading. You don’t need much.

Bring a refillable water bottle.

Preferably one that is vacuum sealed so it keeps ice all day. Most places will give you ice and you can fill up your bottle at any number of the water fountains.

Bring sunscreen

Just a small refillable applicator and face stick. You will get burned in more than one way

Camera with zoom.

Preferably an SLR with longer optical zoom. It’s a little extra weight, but worth the pain because of the quality of the photos. The photographers there will even use your fancy pants camera because they appreciate your effort. Plus you can get photo tips from them as well. Just don’t take that big camera everyday, just on those days when you plan out your iconic photos. If you can get a deal on the Disney photo pass, DO IT, I regret not just forking over the dough and getting all those great shots.

Enjoy the park food

Pack only a few snacks for when you or your family gets hangry. Beef Jerky, Slim Jims, Nuts, Granola bars something with protein, stuff that won’t melt. Enjoy the food in the park as much as you can. Again don’t be cheap, eat and enjoy the park food. Book a nice sit down restaurant too.

Fast passes

No brainier, get them for later in the day and head for the rides you want first as soon as the gates open. For instance, hit the Seven Dwarfs mine train first and then use your fast pass later. Or just visit all the other rides while people pile on the most popular. Staying on property will get you a 60 day head start on getting fast passes.

Stay at least 4 days

Spend at least an entire day at each park. Most people skimp on Animal Kingdom, but there is plenty to do there. It’s not all about thrill rides. Thrill your brain and learn some stuff. Also, try to visit during Christmas time, Magic Kingdom is way better when all the sights, sounds and music of Christmas are up and running.

Get the park hopper option

We end up going to the Magic Kingdom every evening after we’ve exhausted our time at other parks. There is nothing quite like the Magic Kingdom at night.

Take care of your feet!

I can’t stress this enough, you will be walking miles per day. My personal best is 14 miles in a single day. Wear proper fitting and breathable shoes. Wear anti-friction socks and let them air out when you get back to the hotel. I managed to remain blister free on my last two trips. Leave the flip flop and slides at the hotel for the pool.

Also, if you have small children, don’t ride the haunted mansion first.