How to ruin your coffee experience

Stale Makers

The only thing worse than buying ground coffee is grinding it yourself in the store. Coffee goes stale in two minutes after grinding, so you are actually wasting your time to make your coffee worse. Not only that but you are mingling your select beans with somebody who just chewed up 20 pounds of Folgers in these worn out gears. Buy a good burr grinder for your home counter top. Grind just what you need for your preferred brewing method.

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The biggest mistake that actors make

No, it’s not the roles they take or their political or religious opinions. It may surprise you that it’s a very simple mistake that could easily be fixed. I’m no actor, so my advice may not be well regarded so here goes.

One of my biggest pet peeves is how actors drink coffee on screen.

When someone hands you a fresh cup and we can tell it’s empty, don’t immediately tilt it 90 degrees. Coffee is typically hot and unless your throat is made of cast iron, take a small sip from the rim of the cup. You also need to make an attempt to swallow. No one takes a sip of coffee and holds it in their mouth until it absorbs.

No one waves their cup of coffee around without it spilling everywhere. Keep your hand motions to a minimum like there is boiling lava in your drinking vessel. Maybe put water in the cup? There needs to be weight in your hand.

Keep the cup silent, we can hear the knock of an empty cup in our living rooms from our loudspeakers. This is also where a ceramic mug would come in handy. It’s a simple mistake and can easily be fixed.

 

 

 

How to order coffee at Starbucks

Does anyone drink coffee anymore? Whenever I sit at a Starbucks or similar coffee house and hear someone order a beverage it sounds way too complicated. It’s mostly milk/cream, sugar with very little coffee added. It’s more like a coffee flavored beverage. I get coffee, it’s easy, and all it needs added is a cup. But seriously, the only way to order coffee at Starbucks is to buy the beans and grind them at home to use them in your French Press. That is if you like over roasted beans.

 

Starbucks is just like Maxwell House

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My Old Setup in 2002

I say that because it’s common place. Today, people flock to Starbucks because it’s what they know, they don’t know any better. When I was growing up I could not stand the taste of coffee. My parents and grandparents would pour these foul smelling cups of what looked like oil run off from the Sears Auto Center.  It’s what they knew because it was the cornerstone of the market. People get used to what they know and it’s hard to change.

When I do buy a Starbucks coffee I get the jitters because there is so much caffeine in each cup. It’s like they spray the beans with extra caffeine before they grind them. Get to know a local roaster, it’s the best way to get your coffee, it will cost less and taste much better.

Cream flavored coffee

I see more and more people walking around with what appears to be cups of cream with a straw to siphon out the contents. I hope there is at least a shot of espresso in there.

I’ll pass on what my college professor told me about how to drink black coffee. Start with a cup of cream and add a teaspoon of coffee. Gradually reduce the cream and increase the teaspoons of coffee until it’s blacker than a blackhole’s butthole. Well, he didn’t say the “butthole” part.