The new segregation

Privileged Prius Parking

If you really think about it, the hybrids and alternative fuel cars should be forced to park as far away as possible. Allowing them to park so close forces the gas guzzlers to burn more fuel looking for a spot thus forcing more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. Hybrids are already fuel efficient enough, you don’t need to reward them by giving them the same treatment as handicapped parking. I can understand electric cars being allowed to park close so they can plug into their USB chargers or swap out their D batteries.

Waiting in traffic activities

40 minute wait 30 miles out

On a recent road trip we were traveling back from a smaller road trip after visiting Mammoth Cave National Park. We were about 30 minutes away from our hotel in Nashville when we came to a complete stop. We could see there were only about 50 cars a head of us and emergency workers scrambling to save someone. We waited about 40 minutes. So how do you redeem the time?

Pray for the people involved.
This is the easiest thing to do if you are not first on the scene and try to calm and help the people.

Get out and look
Get out of your car and see if you can see what happens. Cross your arms and pace, this should get things moving.

Bathroom break
Let you kids out to pee on the side of the road. You will never see these people again so it’s OK for a brief period of public urination. The cops are busy anyway.

Turn the event into a self centered tirade about how much you are being inconvenienced. Say things like, “If they aren’t dead, then they should be in jail for causing such a horrible delay”. You know, terrible things like that.

For all those terrible thoughts you just had about the terrible wreck. But then rationalize that if it’s only a mere fender bender then they should at least perform communist community service.

Share the road

I don't know who I'm more afraid for. The guy on the bike or the two men putting their faith in that tailgate.

It's fine if you want to ride your bicycle, but c'mon, across the twists and turns of the Great Smoky Mountain Expressway? You put your faith in people who text and drive around kiss your a$$ turns? You are a true adrenaline junkie if the odds of getting smeared all over the side of a mountain are this high.

Softball tournament essentials

What do you bring when you’re at an all day softball or baseball tournament?

A player – It doesn’t make sense to attend a tournament if you don’t have a player

A cooler – Preferably something that holds ice for more than an hour

Something to keep a cooler cold – You can put ice or these cooler shock pad

Something to keep cold – Skip the soda and beer and bring lots of water and Gatorade. Bring fruits, nuts and other low sugar snacks to keep fueled.

Cooling towels – It’s better than nothing

Sunscreen – Don’t forget to apply every few hours or you will have tan lines on your face.

A chair – Preferably one with shade if don’t have have any friends that have a canopy.

First aid kit – Things will happen and bleed or get swollen.

Wagon – It’s better than carrying everything

Bonus points if you bring a generator and fans.

Back to school anger

There you are enjoying your summer of sunburns, splinters, spider bites and then the back to school circular shows up. Your parents were so happy to show it to you just to let you know the end is nigh.

The best part of back to school was getting a brand new trapper keeper to put your doodles in because the teacher was uninteresting. The worst part was showing up with your new clothes and sneakers only to be mocked for having last years models of Swede Pumas. How did seventh graders know this? I was happy to have name brands!

Buy one get one free…

Do you think BOGOs are a good deal? Hows come when you see the same item at Walmart it's the same price as one of the buy one get ones? That's because BOGO is a scam. Paying full retail price vs what the price should be. It's not near as worse as by 3 get 2 free. If you divide it out it's about the same price as a single item at Walmart or Aldi.