There is no maybe…

When someone invites you to an event, there shouldn’t be an option for maybe. Treat all maybes as a no. If they show up without a confirmation, make it difficult for them to find a seat or gain access to food. If they complain simply say, “I saved all the prime positions and delectable foods for people who told me yes”. The maybe is only there so that if something better comes up they can leave their options open. Eventually the person will wonder why they don’t get invited to things anymore.

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Why I will never buy gold

Fox News had someone hocking gold on just about every commercial. The pitch is that gold is going to skyrocket in the future as it has done in the past. By jumping into the gold rush you will be super wealthy and you would be insane not to do so.

So why is now the perfect time to buy gold? Well, the best reason I can guess is someone got duped into buying gold and want to unload it to you so they can get some real money. I will never buy gold as an investment because to me it’s worthless. What am I going to do with a bunch of gold in someone else’s safe? Or why would I be crazy enough to put a bunch of gold in my house. Who robs you house of gold? What are we in the old west?

When the feces hits the fan, no one is going to want your gold. They will want food, water, and other commodities. I can’t pay for my kids college with shiny metal. I can’t walk into a dealership with a brick of gold and buy a new pickup truck. If gold was so valuable why do these cash for gold places rip you off for your fine jewelry. Sounds like a scam too me. I’ll stick with burying my money in the ground in only places I know about.

*Gold chicken though, that’s another story.

Top Website Annoyances…

White listing

Now what website admins are hip to ad-blockers, everyone wants to be on the white list. You can either do that or subscribe to “premium” access. It’s gotten so bad with Screenrant.com that I had to stop visiting. When I put them on the white list I got so many javascript popups asking for a username and password to check my machine for virus. When I took them off the white list they pop up a “premium” access offer and hold my screen hostage for 30 seconds.

Pop unders

Unlike pop-ups who used to throw up a new window. Popunders are those windows that dim the background and force you to read something before requring you to take action. Some now have timers, they are also used with whitelists and…

Subscribe to our newsletter/email/discount

Usually with some passive aggressive statement such as “No thanks, I’d like to pay full price” or “I’d like to stay ignorant”. Sign up for any and prepare your inbox to be stuffed with garbage forever.

Clickbait

Of course everyone knows about clickbait at this point in their internet life. You know, you see an article titled “Man does this simple trick and lost 50 lbs in one day” then when you click the bait, you see that he sawed off his own legs.

Don’t use your turn signal

Today I was making a right hand turn and my light was green. I ignited my turn signal and an 18 wheeler made a left in front of me as I hit the brakes. He waved and thanked me as he passed in front of me and as my life passed before my eyes. What choice did I have? I could have make the choice to not use my turn signal and made my turn safely. To be honest, the turn signal is useless in our modern driving society.

If you use your signal on the interstate, it notifies the driver on the left or right to close the gap and not let you over. Don’t think, don’t blink, just go! They will pretend you ram you anyway, and then throw their hands up in disbelief of your actions.

I don’t trust anyone who uses their turn signal before they enter my subdivision. I wait until they commit to the turn before they go. One time, they started their turn and changed their mind and kept going forward. I don’t know if I want to drive anymore.

Honking at the person in front of you…

Are you the type of person who honks at the person in front of you at the stoplight? I had an uncle who would lay on the horn as soon as it turned green. I’m sure the other drivers appreciated it.

Today I was waiting at a very long light which is now the new normal in my town. I saw there was a larger queue on the other side of the three way intersection. No one in my my side was letting anyone from that side get to the next queue. I noticed at least 20 cars from my queue without one of the others going anywhere. I wanted to ease their suffering so I let one enter in front of me. I didn’t have to let them go, but I know how frustrating traffic can be. So the guy behind my lays on his horn.

As we approached the stoplight I waited till I was first in line in the far right lane. It was a right turn on red freebie, but I waited. As I waited the guy behind me, again, was relentless with the horn blowing. There was a huge stack of cars about to enter the intersection from my left. As this person was about to blow a horn gasket I gunned it at the last second leaving him to wait until the next light cycle. I know it wasn’t the safest thing to do, but I was so worth it.

Lesson learned? Traffic sucks, let one person in front of you in jams by either waving them over or leaving some space. Don’t be a horn blower.

How to calm your anxiety

  • Drink lots of booze, actually, this makes it worse because of dehydration
  • Drink more coffee, we’ll maybe not, caffeine puts you on edge
  • Yell at your family. This never helps. Just makes your family not like you.
  • Don’t exercise, well maybe you should. It will increase oxygen flow to your brain and burn off all that anxiety energy
  • Become more self centered. Well, maybe you should serve others. The whole reason there are needles in your mind is because you’re too focused on you.
  • Don’t talk to anyone. Well, maybe, seek professional help if you feel like you will hurt yourself or someone near you. Research any pills they try to shove down your throat. Don’t have faith in Morpheus like Neo did.
  • Just remember, in 100 years you will be dead.
  • Learn about a person named Jesus. That will help with the whole dead part.