I noticed an airline pilot sitting down to dinner at the airport. He was opening up a bag of McDonald’s food. My initial reaction was concern because it makes me think that this person doesn’t make good decisions.
However, a salad emerged from the brown sack. I was then relieved for a moment because now my thought was maybe he’s not that bad of a decision maker after all. But then again, who goes to McDonald’s for a salad when there are so many other healthy options.
Then it occurred to me that the pilot is budget savvy. Then I thought, why am I staring at this pilot while he’s eats his salad.
The best cure is to not over indulge in alcoholic beverages. Or you could visit a doctor in a hotel lobby that will stick an intravenous drip of fluids in your body. I guess I’ll “stick” to drinking in moderation.
When I say coolest rides, I mean rides that you can sit down and cool off. These are not necessarily fun rides, but rides when you need a break from the heat and crowds and want to relax a bit. Here are my go-to rides that have relatively low wait to ride ratios.
Carousel of Progress
Large air conditioned theater, low lights and a nice history lesson. I have noticed that people will get up in the middle of ride and exit, which will prompt the PA announcer to bellow out hateful instructions to park their can in the seat. But this is my go to ride on when I’m exhausted, it’s the most comfortable.
Again, cold and dark, but a bit funky smelling. One portion of the ride even reclines so that you can stretch out a bit. Very relaxing until that hitchhiker at the end removes your noggin.
It’s air conditioned the old fashioned way, wind! Pretty comfortable and they will let you stay on if it’s not to busy. Sit back, put your feet up and don’t forget to WOOO! when you ride past Space Mountain.
Hall of Presidents
Another great show with some history, ignore the massive revisionist history. Just enjoy the show and the people booing Barack Obama and Donald Trump robots.
Disney World Railroad
Best if you ride in the evening and get some more of that wind air conditioning. You can ride as long as you like and it makes a nice alternative from walking from Frontier Land to Main Street at the end of the day.
Tanker full of coffee?
Back in the college days before I drank coffee, it was Pepsi Big Slams and No Doze for the long road trips. However now I have the motivation of keeping a family alive rather than abusing caffeine.
In this part of the country I look out for Pilot or Spinx. Pilot has coffee that will pin your eyelids to your forehead. QT is creeping up the list slowly at a close third, my kids love their brain freeze producing slushies. For me, as long as I can remember I would choose a Pepsi product, Slim Jims and white cheddar popcorn. Maybe some Doritos now and again. One of the biggest problems about eating chips in the car is there is never enough roof clearance to tilt the back up and drink the crumbs.
Worse than Disney prices
Or water for that matter! Airports have you right where they want you. You can beat the game by packing your own water bottle and a few protein bars when hunger and thirst arrive before your already delayed flight.
That is of course unless you enjoy spending $100 on Doritos and a Coke Zero. My suggestion is you bring your own empty camelbak through TSA and then fill it with sink, fountain, or filtered water. Even when I’m on a client’s per diem, I will not submit to this price gouging. Remember, it’s not long until you get on-board your plane and get an ice filled cup with a quarter can of soda.
If it doesn’t surprise you, I’m a walker. Not in the zombie sense, but as someone who likes to use technology as it’s intended. The best part is it makes you feel superhuman to walk at a normal pace while you speed past other travelers. However, I do occasionally notice a person who actually walks faster than me as I’m walking on the human conveyor belt.
Of course there are those people who can’t seem to read these floor markings. They treat it like an amusement ride or as a chance to get a break from traveling faster than an automobile. The best part is the awkward step when you leave the treadmill. The robot voice will even warn you that the floor will stop moving. Sometimes I like to stand there at the end just to see if people will walk around me or pile up like lemmings.
In the past few years, I’ve traveled many miles inside of airplanes. Each time at the gate, an announcement is made that the flight is fully booked and they are looking for volunteers. Volunteers to catch a later flight, every 10 minutes the value of the voucher gets higher. I almost pulled the trigger when it got to $1000, it would be nice to fly first class on my next trip or buy a couple of tickets for the family. However, now that I know I can have a full contact fight with a security guard, I will never go for their voucher deal.