Advent Calendar Arrival Times

If you take baby Jesus out of the day 24 box, what do you do about the wise men? They don’t show up until Jesus was a toddler. Do you just keep the calendar out all year? I try to set my Advent Calendar up as follows.

  1. Stars first since they were created long before people
  2. Shepards and Animals since they own the joint
  3. Innkeeper, even though there were no Hilton Garden Inn’s back then.
  4. Joseph, since he was supposed to find a place
  5. Mary, since she has the baby
  6. Jesus, since he is the whole purpose of the Advent
  7. Wise men, since it took several months or maybe years to get there.
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Resist or Coexist?

I’m assuming this person is pro-choice because of the two options of resisting or coexisting. It’s a tough decision for sure.

If you really think about it logically, you can’t resist the urge to coexist. It’s a nice thought, but all religions don’t essentially teach the same thing. They all contradict each other.

You can’t resist to the point where you don’t pay your taxes. You can’t really resist arrest. Unless you like jail.

God’s name in vain…

I heard a guy yelling at the pharmacy workers at Wal-mart and in the same breath he asked God to damn something and then asked for help from Jesus. Not sure if he knows if this is the same person (Christian Worldview of the Trinity), but that is a pretty bi-polar statement. I’m guessing he was just using slang because I doubt he held any deep theological beliefs.

A Nashville Statement!

Shut the Cluck Up!

They should have made the Nashville Statement more about gluttony than human sexuality because there is plenty of sinful food in Nashville. I had several people recommend Hattie B’s so I had to try it. I’ve been a chili head since I was a teenager, so I had to go for the top rung of “Shut the Cluck up” Hot Chicken. I’ll admit it was very hot. My body had an instant reaction, I started to hiccup and my eyeballs turned red and began to leak capsicum. In hindsight I wish I would have taken a photo of the chicken  because it was jet black like the bag it came in. The piece of bread underneath was disintegrated into a pool of grease and fire juice. There were a few pickle chips as well, but at that point I couldn’t feel my face so my taste buds were dysfunctional.

The real “wake-up call” came the next day at 6am. I’m so glad I had the foreknowledge to pack some Cottonelle wipes, it literally saved my behind from the exit wounds. Doesn’t matter how much of a heat tolerance your upper orifice can handle, the lower one is never able to compensate.

Exorcism goes wrong and bacon equities take a dive!

Well, technically it went right as it was intended, but I’m sure the owner wasn’t too happy about losing all those pigs. But you know, for the kingdom, and Jesus owns everything.

Someone I know posted a few random click bait titles as to spur interest in reading the bible. I think it’s a great idea. It’s very Babylon Bee -esque. Anyway, here’s the bible verse to read for that.

They came to the other side of the sea, to the country of the Gerasenes. And when Jesus had stepped out of the boat, immediately there met him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit. He lived among the tombs. And no one could bind him anymore, not even with a chain, for he had often been bound with shackles and chains, but he wrenched the chains apart, and he broke the shackles in pieces. No one had the strength to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always crying out and cutting himself with stones. And when he saw Jesus from afar, he ran and fell down before him. And crying out with a loud voice, he said, “What have you to do with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me.” For he was saying to him, “Come out of the man, you unclean spirit!” And Jesus asked him, “What is your name?” He replied, “My name is Legion, for we are many.” And he begged him earnestly not to send them out of the country. Now a great herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside, and they begged him, saying, “Send us to the pigs; let us enter them.” So he gave them permission. And the unclean spirits came out and entered the pigs; and the herd, numbering about two thousand, rushed down the steep bank into the sea and drowned in the sea.
The herdsmen fled and told it in the city and in the country. And people came to see what it was that had happened. And they came to Jesus and saw the demon-possessed man, the one who had had the legion, sitting there, clothed and in his right mind, and they were afraid. And those who had seen it described to them what had happened to the demon-possessed man and to the pigs. And they began to beg Jesus to depart from their region. As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him. And he did not permit him but said to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him, and everyone marveled. — Mk 5:1-20

Worship singers who can’t finish a song.

I may be a bit insensitive here. Ok, maybe very insensitive, but I can’t be the only person who’s annoyed that a worship soloist can’t make it through a song without crying. I understand that the song may have some significance in your spiritual journey, but maybe take a cursory glance at the lyrics to see if you can make to through the first chorus without your voice quivering, then select something else.

Maybe it’s a tactic in case they forgot the lyrics. However at several different churches, I’ve seen the same singer break down every single solo they’ve ever sung. It’s like if I’m trying to build furniture but I keep losing fingers on the table saw. Eventually, I have to come to grips (or no grip depending on how many fingers) that I’m not cut out for word working. We have to know our limits.

Watching someone cry on stage while we have to tolerate the synthesized instrumental rendition of a popular song kinda puts me out of the mood to praise. Maybe, I’m old-school, but I like corporate worship where we all sing at once, then you can cry all you want and be drowned out by the people hitting all the wrong notes. Yeah, I need to work on doxology, I’ve always struggled with that part.

How can you be a better Christian?

I heard someone say the other day, that “this person is just a better Christian than I am”. Nonsense, you can’t be a better Christian than someone else just like any two corpses in the morgue can be deader than each other. You are either a Christian or you are not. It’s important to distinguish between things you have to do and what you want to do.

You don’t have to do anything to be a better a Christian, but you will want to do things because you are.

  • You will want to read your Bible.
  • You will want to love/serve others.
  • You will want to sing praises.
  • You will want to Pray.
  • You will want to be obedient.
  • And you will want to be humble and brag less about how good of a Christian you are.