Most Annoying Sounds…

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Crunching Ice

I used to have shared cubicle space with an ice cruncher. She even brought ice in from home to work, all day long, every day.

Shuffling Cards

I don’t even like the computer game solitaire because of the sound of shuffling cards. Shuffling cards once is ok, but when you get all OCD and start shuffling them over and over, that’s enough.

Popping Gum

Some people never learned how to chew gum and I’m assuming they are just as bad at eating food, or they crunch ice. Blowing a bubble then inverting it into your mouth as you pop is several times

Chewing Food

This goes along with ice crunching, but there are some people who sound like they are eating rocks no matter what the food type is. The sound rattles around their skull until it sounds like they are breaking off their teeth at the gum line. Sometimes, you can hear people eating beans and the sound of the bean paste sticking to their teeth.

Mechanical Keyboards

They have a great feel and feedback, but they sounds like marbles being spilled on a tile floor. It doesn’t matter if they are a great typist or a hunt and pecker, both are equally annoying.

Cotton Mouth

Hearing someone speak who has a dry mouth is probably one of the worst sounds anyone can make. It’s even more tortuous is the person is speaking in front of a large crowd and is using a microphone.

Roadside Watermelons

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via GIPHY

Here’s how to get a deal on those roadside watermelons. You can get 1 for $6 dollars or 2 for $10. Buy two of them and then ask to return one of them. Since 1 watermelon is worth $6 dollars you end up paying only $4 for the 1 watermelon. It’s a great deal. If they don’t accept returns, just smash both of your watermelons all over the pavement so that the onlookers can see. It’s only $10, and how fun is it to smash a watermelon? Just ask Gallagher.

Cleaning your house…

Don’t you love it when you go over to someones house and it’s spotless? Well, it’s because you planned the visit. Go over in about a week but unannounced. If it’s still spotless don’t stay friends with that person. They will just make you feel bad.

However, if you invite someone over, please clean you house. Once they get there say things like. “Sorry this place is such a mess” Then you can make them feel bad and they will think you have such higher cleaning standards. Then they will not be your friend anymore.