Fall is the worst season of the year

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  1. Seasonal Effective Disorder is real
  2. All clients at work want everything done so they relax at Thanksgiving and Christmas.
  3. Home school activities ramp up so we can enjoy the Holidays
  4. Crazy busy with sports
  5. Cold air now makes my bones and back hurt
  6. Mold is in the air and makes me sick
  7. Dead leaves are depressing, messy and moldy
  8. Pumpkin spice is disgusting and should be on a controlled substance list
  9. Making sure you start Christmas shopping early enough so you can actually enjoy the Holiday season.
  10. My “wheels fall off” my vehicles requiring repairs when I’m already spending money on buying gifts.
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How to calm your anxiety

  • Drink lots of booze, actually, this makes it worse because of dehydration
  • Drink more coffee, we’ll maybe not, caffeine puts you on edge
  • Yell at your family. This never helps. Just makes your family not like you.
  • Don’t exercise, well maybe you should. It will increase oxygen flow to your brain and burn off all that anxiety energy
  • Become more self centered. Well, maybe you should serve others. The whole reason there are needles in your mind is because you’re too focused on you.
  • Don’t talk to anyone. Well, maybe, seek professional help if you feel like you will hurt yourself or someone near you. Research any pills they try to shove down your throat. Don’t have faith in Morpheus like Neo did.
  • Just remember, in 100 years you will be dead.
  • Learn about a person named Jesus. That will help with the whole dead part.

How to prepare for a Hurricane

Panic – Start freaking out right away because it always helps.

Horde – Buy up all the milk, bread, eggs, and water. Buy as much as you can. It will rot in your fridge because you will lose power.

Ignore traffic laws – Run red lights, try to ram the cars pulling out in front of you. Walk across busy streets with dark clothing.

Fight – If you feel like someone is stopping you from hording, or you want to prevent someone from hording, then fight them.

Don’t do any of this. Just remain calm and pay attention to your local officials. They have your best interest in mind. You will be in lots of traffic coming and going, so be patient. If someone is being an idiot, just let them. If you have to scramble at the last minute for water, non-perishables, ice, or generators, then it’s already too late.

Slow Carb Diet Cheat Day Report

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Biscuits and Gravy from Tudor’s Biscuit World (2004)

The slow carb diet is now a permanent lifestyle change for me. I’ve been doing the diet/lifestyle since January of 2016. According to my doctor my weight peaked at about 292 lbs. Right before Thanksgiving 2016 I weight in at 233 lbs and during that year and did not do one bit of exercise. You can read about the diet on Tim Ferris website or buy his book the Four Hour Body. I did both.

What I love most about the diet is how well you feel during the week, your mind is sharp and you have a overall feeling of wellness. What I used to love but not so much anymore is the cheat day. You can eat whatever you want, quite literally. I think my progress has slowed down because I don’t do a proper cheat day anymore and I don’t eat enough during the week. I don’t like the cheat day because I feel miserable the day of and the day after. Well, I did a proper cheat day yesterday and here are the results.

  • Everything Bagel with Jalapeno Cream Cheese (6am)
  • Biscuits and Gravy with a side of grits and slice of french toast (10am)
  • Cool Ranch Doritos (12pm)
  • Thai Curry Chicken and 2 shrimp wontons (1pm)
  • Pretzel and Cheese Combos (3pm)
  • Kettle Corn (3pm)
  • Pretzel Bun Burger (6pm)
    • Extra sharp cheese,
    • Thick cut bacon
    • spicy BBQ sauce
  • Waffle Fries
  • Ice cream – Ben and Jerry’s Everything but the…(9pm)

I’ve started to do more cardio because I want to be able to run with my kids on the softball/baseball field and not get so gassed. When we go to waterparks I want to be able to walk up the all those steps without it feeling like someone is stabbing me in the legs and lungs. The extra weight loss has helped, I noticed a difference from year to year. I seem to have more success in the fall because I’m not traveling and there are no major Holiday’s to do an extra cheat day, so I’m looking forward to getting rid of that last 20-30lbs.

How to choose exercise equipment

It’s frustrating to purchase exercise equipment. Not because it’s expensive but there are unrealistic expectation in the commercials. You always see super fit people using the equipment. Why not show some regular people or some people who are really out of shape struggling to untangle themselves from the BoFlex cables. Show us how easy it is to use. Don’t show us some elite athlete who is maxing out the equipment. You are setting us up for failure.

Are you afraid of the dentist?

I’ll admit, I’m absolutely terrified of the dentist. When I was four years old I had many teeth pulled without being properly numbed. I was a sickly child so all the medicine I took rotted my baby teeth so they had to come out. I don’t remember much, but it was dark and there were pink and blue lights everywhere. Maybe that’s what trauma looks like to a 4 year old. I remember every subsequent dental visit my mother bought me a toy afterwards.

My moms took me for one last cleaning in 1991 (never got that toy) and I didn’t go again until 2008. Yes, 17 years! It wasn’t a good experience when I went back. Not that my teeth were in bad shape, but the dentist I went to was an old man who was a dentist in the Army. It felt like he took out each individual tooth, cleaned it, and put it back into the socket. The last time I went was 2011, I had two cleanings, first time I had no cavity creeps. On the second visit 6 months later they said I had 7 cavities. So I’m guessing they rubbed something on my teeth to make them rot. I haven’t been back and my teeth are still fine.

I take my kids to the dentist every 6 months for a cleaning, but these kids have it easy. Their dentist has video games in the waiting area, super cool themed office and TV screens in the ceiling so they can watch DVDs while they get dental work done. When I was a kid, we just sat in a white room in a metal chair while some old man with super minty breath yanked on our teeth for 30 minutes. As a bonus we had to sit still with a mouth guard full of goop that tasted like sauerkraut water.

Entresto has the most depressing commercial

My vote goes to Entresto because it reminds you that you can die at any moment. The actors are singing about tomorrow and of course you are not promised tomorrow unless you take these drugs. Lots of imagery of Grandparents with babies and young children. Fathers getting ready for their daughters wedding. They went all out to pull at those heart strings. I understand that sometimes drugs are necessary to keep us alive, but we need to be careful because this commercial makes me want to start taking them as a safeguard.