Text message response time

My text messages response time is quicker than ever before because of the new iOS features. But as you can see there are still ways to distract your friend who is driving. Just type “urgent”, really? That’s all it takes to derail your friend into the ditch?

The easiest way to drive yourself into oncoming traffic is to simply turn off the feature.


Blocking the intersection…

It could be illegal in your state but that’s beside the point, it’s just plain selfish and stupid. Those white lines at the light are there for your safety and almost everyone ignores them. I know everyone is in a hurry, but sticking your vehicle out in the middle of the road just to gain an extra few seconds isn’t worth destroying your automobile or life. There people are notorious for inserting themselves into the intersection on a yellow light so they clear the intersection on a technicality.

Don’t use your turn signal

Today I was making a right hand turn and my light was green. I ignited my turn signal and an 18 wheeler made a left in front of me as I hit the brakes. He waved and thanked me as he passed in front of me and as my life passed before my eyes. What choice did I have? I could have make the choice to not use my turn signal and made my turn safely. To be honest, the turn signal is useless in our modern driving society.

If you use your signal on the interstate, it notifies the driver on the left or right to close the gap and not let you over. Don’t think, don’t blink, just go! They will pretend you ram you anyway, and then throw their hands up in disbelief of your actions.

I don’t trust anyone who uses their turn signal before they enter my subdivision. I wait until they commit to the turn before they go. One time, they started their turn and changed their mind and kept going forward. I don’t know if I want to drive anymore.

Honking at the person in front of you…

Are you the type of person who honks at the person in front of you at the stoplight? I had an uncle who would lay on the horn as soon as it turned green. I’m sure the other drivers appreciated it.

Today I was waiting at a very long light which is now the new normal in my town. I saw there was a larger queue on the other side of the three way intersection. No one in my my side was letting anyone from that side get to the next queue. I noticed at least 20 cars from my queue without one of the others going anywhere. I wanted to ease their suffering so I let one enter in front of me. I didn’t have to let them go, but I know how frustrating traffic can be. So the guy behind my lays on his horn.

As we approached the stoplight I waited till I was first in line in the far right lane. It was a right turn on red freebie, but I waited. As I waited the guy behind me, again, was relentless with the horn blowing. There was a huge stack of cars about to enter the intersection from my left. As this person was about to blow a horn gasket I gunned it at the last second leaving him to wait until the next light cycle. I know it wasn’t the safest thing to do, but I was so worth it.

Lesson learned? Traffic sucks, let one person in front of you in jams by either waving them over or leaving some space. Don’t be a horn blower.

How to prepare for a Hurricane

Panic – Start freaking out right away because it always helps.

Horde – Buy up all the milk, bread, eggs, and water. Buy as much as you can. It will rot in your fridge because you will lose power.

Ignore traffic laws – Run red lights, try to ram the cars pulling out in front of you. Walk across busy streets with dark clothing.

Fight – If you feel like someone is stopping you from hording, or you want to prevent someone from hording, then fight them.

Don’t do any of this. Just remain calm and pay attention to your local officials. They have your best interest in mind. You will be in lots of traffic coming and going, so be patient. If someone is being an idiot, just let them. If you have to scramble at the last minute for water, non-perishables, ice, or generators, then it’s already too late.

Worst time you ever had to go pee?

There have been a few times when I felt like my bladder would stretch beyond capacity and burst inside my body. However there is one time that stands out more than most. The first anniversary of my marriage, my spouse and I decided to visit Orlando Florida for the first time together. Little did she know that it would soon become an obsession and I would want to go every year or maybe even move there.

During this time in my life I was very successful in losing weight with diet, exercise and a pill called Xenadrine which was a diuretic. I also drank a couple of 20 oz Diet Mountain Dews that morning as well. Needless to say, fluids would eventually need to exit my body. We were driving through South Carolina when the urge began to build. It’s one of those times when you say to yourself, “I can make it one more exit”. Well, the last time I said that, I must have missed the sign that said next rest area 1000 miles.

We finally made it to the Georgia welcome center and I must have urinated for 20 minutes. If you have kids, stop at every rest area, it’s good for you to stretch your legs and for them to empty their bladders. Otherwise they will need to go 20 minutes before you get home and there is nowhere to stop except that gas station that people are murdered in. Plus, you don’t want them to pee on the side of the road and end up in jail for public urination.