Probably one of the worst things you can do to your family is lock the car windows and then unleash a seat warmer. When someone shouts “Roll-down the windows” say you don’t know what they mean because there are no rollers in the car.
But seriously, do you still say roll-down the windows? It’s like saying rewind a YouTube video.
The best way that I’ve found to reduce motorcycle fatalities is to not own a motorcycle. Unless I’m stuck by other person’s motorcycle then my chances of dying by motorcycle are greatly reduced. Here a just a few observations that I’ve noticed that will help you not die on a motorcycle.
- Wear a helmet
- Don’t wear flip flops
- Don’t make your own lane by riding on the white line between cars at a high rate of speed
- Don’t ride on the shoulder or median at a high ride of speed during traffic jams
- Don’t swerve into the other lane if someone is trying to pass you on the left
- Don’t text and ride your motorcycle (yes, I’ve seen it)
- Make your motorcycle as loud as you can, so we can hear you!
- Lastly, don’t ride your motorcycle (still the best way of not dying).
Yes, I’m not man enough to own/ride a motorcycle. I had one wreck on a dirt bike as a kid and my legs went numb for a few minutes. I’m good. But enjoy yours, and don’t be an be a jerk.
Are you the type of driver that backs into a parking spot? If so, then why? Are you saving the hassle later by wedging yourself into a spot while others wait for you to finish your 3 point turn? Are you trying to prove how good of a driver you are with your skill display? Or is the real reason for a quick getaway for a zombie apocalypse or similar situation?
Why not just find two empty spots and pull through? That way there’s no backing out or in required. Or maybe you are a defensive driver and want to be safe. That’s probably it.
Herman Cain’s Gas Station
Seems like every time I buy gas for my automobile, the next day it’s cheaper. When it’s time to buy gas again it goes back up. I can’t seem to get on the cheap gas cycle. But when is the best time to buy gasoline? When your tank is near empty, that’s when.
One thing that puzzles me is there types of humans who drive highway speeds in neighborhoods. Speed humps and bumps don’t slow them down either because they have no regard for human life. Sadly, it takes a tragedy before any safety measure are put in place. Here are a couple of ideas to deal with neighborhood speeders.
- Roll a basketball into the street as they drive past.
- Setup a lawn chair in the front yard and point a hair dryer at them then look at your smartphone as they drive past.
- Draw elaborate potholes on the street front of your house with sidewalk chalk.
- Rig up a child mannequin on a pulley system (work with your neighbors) so that it darts out in front of the car as they speed past. Bonus points if you fill it with red corn syrup.
Yeah, maybe don’t do that last one, may be too traumatic, and you might get questioned on why you own a child mannequin.
Are you the type of person that drives with your high beams on all the time? I mean even during the daytime because you don’t know how to disengage them?
I have a car with the HID lights. So when an oncoming vehicle flashes me highs, I then burn their retinas with the next level brightness. They also allow you to see inside your neighbors soul if they own a home at a 3 way intersection.
Some cars now have light sensitive high beams. They will lower if there is oncoming traffic. That of course is optional. In my opinion there should only be high beams. Humans will adapt, we always do.
Tanker full of coffee?
Back in the college days before I drank coffee, it was Pepsi Big Slams and No Doze for the long road trips. However now I have the motivation of keeping a family alive rather than abusing caffeine.
In this part of the country I look out for Pilot or Spinx. Pilot has coffee that will pin your eyelids to your forehead. QT is creeping up the list slowly at a close third, my kids love their brain freeze producing slushies. For me, as long as I can remember I would choose a Pepsi product, Slim Jims and white cheddar popcorn. Maybe some Doritos now and again. One of the biggest problems about eating chips in the car is there is never enough roof clearance to tilt the back up and drink the crumbs.