If Martin Luther were still alive

He wouldn’t go door to door asking for candy. He would go to every door in the neighborhood and tack 95 theses to the door explaining how everyone is ruining “All Hallows Eve”. It’s better than the bag of 95 feces on my doorstep. Happy Reformation Day!


Why are there teal pumpkins?

Teal pumpkins exists so that kids know which homes to skip during trick or treat. It’s great that people want to include kids who can’t eat candy, but it also gives a heads up to those who don’t want to waste their time. There are better things to do and more full size candy bars to find. If my child was allergic to candy then we wouldn’t participate at all. It would be a relief that we didn’t have to walk the neighbor filled with displays of murder and satanism.

Blocking people in

Backing in won’t help you if someone blocks you in. Is there enough space to get out? Well, it depends on how much damage you are willing to allow to your vehicle. Don’t attempt to block in a car that is old and busted. If so, this is plenty of room to get another automobile’s paint swatched on your car.

Top travel ball clichés

  1. Every single dugout cheer ever, all teams do the same ones, not every team is “unstoppable”
  2. The parent who is cursing at the coach for their kids playing time
  3. The stat keeper who is advising the coach what player should be in the lineup
  4. The bleacher coach who is overriding the coaches play.
  5. The grand parents who are cheering for their player for sitting the bench the whole game.
  6. The e-cigarette guy who is blowing vapors in the stands, because he says it’s not a real cigarette.
  7. The concession stand junkie who it constantly chowing down on greasy treats
  8. The travel ball pro who has tents, yeti coolers, and fans powered by generators.
  9. The kid who is an emotional wreck after every minor error or who cries after she goes deep and they catch the fly ball.
  10. The football fan is watching the game rather than his child.

Exciting Friday Night

I’m too exhausted to have any Friday plans. So this is a welcomed image of my social life. I didn’t enjoy going out when I was younger and I’m sure as heck not going to start now. A happy Friday is a quiet Friday of doing nothing. Of course I will probably be at the softball field for 15 hours tomorrow, so I’ll chill now

Amazon.com is your new rude roommate


We invited Amazon Echo and Alexa into our homes about a year ago. But now, Amazon wants to have a key to our home? Don’t get me wrong, we enjoy the novelty of Alexa, but out of nowhere we get a weather update or notice that she’s having trouble finding something. Amazon wants to listen in and interrupt when they see fit. They also want to barge in and drop your delivery of toilet paper inside your door so that thieves won’t get it. If you going to deliver toilet paper, just bring it all they way to bathroom.

I can see why, but don’t think it’s necessary for Amazon to have lock and key entry into my home. Of course I also didn’t think I needed 2 day shipping for a yearly fee. I also didn’t need a robot listening to my television and record “breaking bad” dialog into my NSA file, but here we are. I’m letting it happen. Before long Amazon will just ship stuff to my house in anticipation of my needs. Yeah, serious about the bathroom toilet paper deliver. Maybe by drone?

Punishing people with Healthcare Prices

For as long as I’ve been employed I’ve had healthcare coverage. But since I now work for a company that doesn’t provide those benefits, I’m on my own to purchase it. First of all, it shouldn’t be called Healthcare, it’s should be called catastrophic sick care. The only reason you need it is if you wind up in the hospital so that you don’t ruin your life financially.

Why punish people who make more money? I get the same coverage as my neighbor but I’m paying twice as much because I make more money? That makes no sense. It’s like paying twice as much for gasoline and groceries just because I bring home more green. Sure, I could shop at Whole Foods or Earth Fare, but I shop at Aldi and Walmart because Blue Cross and Blue Shield is bleeding me dry.

Tax reform is on the agenda this fall, but it doesn’t matter. Whatever minimal break I get on the taxes won’t begin to cover the heaping piles of cash my healthcare provider is raking in. I’ll get the same (or worse) coverage for an exponential rate increase.