Coca-Cola Freestyle Decision Anxiety.

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JUST PICK ONE!

While great in theory the execution can be painful. If you have these in your restaurant then at least have two. People have enough trouble retrieving sporks and straws and now you present them with thousands of flavor combinations?

Think about what flavor you want beforehand.  There is nothing more frustrating that watching someone hunt and peck for Orange Flavored Sunkist when it’s not even a Coke product. Have an additional dispenser for just ice and water, this will speed up the queue and reduce the glacier of ice that has formed because of trigger happy customers. I would also be nice if these machines could detect the type of drinking vessel so that you don’t cascade the soda over the cup onto your hand. Or maybe just have one size for this machine and tune it for proper filling.

Neighborhood Drag Strips

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One thing that puzzles me is there types of humans who drive highway speeds in neighborhoods. Speed humps and bumps don’t slow them down either because they have no regard for human life. Sadly, it takes a tragedy before any safety measure are put in place. Here are a couple of ideas to deal with neighborhood speeders.

  • Roll a basketball into the street as they drive past.
  • Setup a lawn chair in the front yard and point a hair dryer at them then look at your smartphone as they drive past.
  • Draw elaborate potholes on the street front of your house with sidewalk chalk.
  • Rig up a child mannequin on a pulley system (work with your neighbors) so that it darts out in front of the car as they speed past. Bonus points if you fill it with red corn syrup.

Yeah, maybe don’t do that last one, may be too traumatic, and you might get questioned on why you own a child mannequin.

 

Sobriety Checkpoint Fun

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Every holiday, state troopers begin setting up sobriety checkpoints to decrease the traffic flow from sloth-like to gridlock. Here is what you are supposed to do. Give the officer your license and answer their questions. Here is what you don’t do. Trust me.

  • Have a beer scented air freshener
  • Ask if there are any escaped convicts on the loose
  • Don’t take their picture
  • Don’t talk about their gun
  • Don’t say things like “You need a license to drive?”

 

Highbeams from Hades 

Are you the type of person that drives with your high beams on all the time? I mean even during the daytime because you don’t know how to disengage them?

I have a car with the HID lights. So when an oncoming vehicle flashes me highs, I then burn their retinas with the next level brightness. They also allow you to see inside your neighbors soul if they own a home at a 3 way intersection. 

Some cars now have light sensitive high beams. They will lower if there is oncoming traffic. That of course is optional. In my opinion there should only be high beams. Humans will adapt, we always do.

Entresto has the most depressing commercial

My vote goes to Entresto because it reminds you that you can die at any moment. The actors are singing about tomorrow and of course you are not promised tomorrow unless you take these drugs. Lots of imagery of Grandparents with babies and young children. Fathers getting ready for their daughters wedding. They went all out to pull at those heart strings. I understand that sometimes drugs are necessary to keep us alive, but we need to be careful because this commercial makes me want to start taking them as a safeguard.

Do you read the 1 star reviews first?

This is where product review gold is found. You will find the most minuscule of complaints about how a product didn’t meet expectations. Complaints like, the a golf GPS not lowering your score because you are not able to hit your pitching wedge 170 yards like Dustin Johnson.

My favorite so far is reading a Yelp one star restaurant review. The restaurant wasn’t known for making wraps. In fact, they didn’t have wraps on their menu. The lady asked them to make her a wrap and she had to explain what a wrap was. So when the wrap didn’t come back as she liked she complained and gave a 1 star review of the entire place.

I understand one star reviews for products that are terrible, but bringing your subjectivity into the complaint is another thing. I tend to either leave five or one star reviews. There is no middle ground for me. All it takes is one small experience and I will never go back.

How to shop at Aldi

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Don’t pull from the short stack

Since we’ve been shopping at Aldi we’ve saved a bunch of money. Here are a few thing to take note of while shopping at Aldi.

Bring a Quarter

Even out the cart corral, don’t pull from the short stack. You should always keep a quarter in your car, or bolt cutters. Sometimes Aldi will have two sets of carts, but one corral is empty. I feel bad for person who has to sacrifice their quarter to start the link chain. If someone gives you a cart, pay it forward to someone else.

The Entry

Don’t linger near the front door in amazement of all the food stuffs. Some Aldi’s place all the junk food near the front.  I wish they would move the junk to another isle because the entry is clogged with people deciding on how to ruin their innards. At least they don’t use corn syrup or synthetic colors now (some items).

Brand loyalty

This is not a place to shop if you are brand loyal. Almost all their foods are copycat and they taste just as good. Everything except the “Ranch” tortilla chips, you just can’t beat Cool Ranch Doritos, I think it’s because Frito Lay still uses red dye 40.

The Meats

The pork loin and ribeye steaks are tasty and a very good deal. They also have some very good unprocessed lunch meats for sandwiches. BTW, isn’t a pig unprocessed lunch meat? Too bad they don’t have wild pigs roaming the store.

The Produce

This is the only think I don’t like about Aldi, everything seems like it’s on verge of rotting. You have to eat it quick or it will spoil. I’ve heard they are fixing that though. We will see.

BYOB

Be prepared to bag your own groceries. Bring a trash bag to put your groceries in. When you unload them at the house, put the trash bag in the receptacle. After you have used the groceries, put the trash back in the bag you bough them in. The circle is now complete.

Be helpful

Offer to take shoppers carts back for them. You can determine someone’s greed by how upset they get on losing a quarter.

Hope this helps…