Do you trust golf course water?

I’m glad it’s not salt water. But really, how fresh is it? Do they clean the cooler or just top it off each day? Who cares, on a hot day of golf, this is free and delicious. 

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Off to greener pastures…

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This is usually said when someone goes off to a new job. But you need to be careful. There may be a ton of cow manure that is causing the greenness. The greener pastures idea is nice, but eventually the greenness will fade and you will start looking for the new and shiny again. Learn to be content, unless your life is in danger with your current job or it’s causing you to lose your family. Money isn’t everything, flexibility and PTO though, that’s another story.

Taking a selfie…

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Please remember to look at the camera lens and not the image on your screen. It’s does make a difference. The selfies where your gaze is slightly askew is annoying. It’s even more irritating if you have a group shot and everyone is focused on themselves within the smartphone view screen. Think about it. You don’t go to Olan Mills and look off to the left or right (that’s for Glamour Shots only), you look at the lens!

Good job?

Not sure why this phrase bothers me so much, but I hear it used all the time when parents praise their kids. I guess because typically you get paid for a job, but if you are not handing out paper with your praise, then here are a few alternatives that I consciously express towards my young ones.

  • Good work
  • Great effort
  • Fantastic accomplishment
  • Superb achievement
  • Impressive performance
  • Majestic results
  • Glorious showing

Just a few to get you started. Feel free to correct other parents.

We are not angels…

I know people mean well, but when we die we are not angels when we go to heaven. We are created higher than angels. So when we go to heaven it’s not a demotion. You don’t hear people talking about going to hell at funerals, they only talk about the nice aspects. No one says, hell just gained another demon. Again, humans are still ranked higher than demons, so at least that’s a promotion when you go to hell.

Best time to buy a car?

If you have a television and you watch commercials for car dealers, they tell you right now is the best time to buy with incredible savings. However, if you wait another month you will get the best savings of the year. Then the next month it will be the absolute best time with rock bottom prices that will never happen again in all of eternity. If you keep waiting on the best sale of the year it will never happen and you will keep driving your beater until it falls apart.

The best time to buy a car is when you need one. If you are paying a monthly repair cost that equals a car payment and you are inconvenienced by the constant time of your vehicle being in the shop, then it’s time to start looking. There are plenty of websites that will help you negotiate the best deal possible.