Kids at the concession stand

Recently, at the movies, I was getting a few overpriced snacks to finish during the previews. Because really, who waits on the movie to polish off a tub of popcorn. They do this so you will go back out and get more snacks. Anyway, I try to pick the shortest line but it never works out. I spotted a line with 4 kids and I assumed they were with an adult. To my delight, I saw that each child had their own ziplock bag of money and instead of what I thought was 1 parent and 1 transaction, now turned into 4 transactions. At this point, all the other lines had snaked into a j-shape so there was no turning back now.

To make it even better, none of the kids could do simple addition so they didn’t know how much money to give the cashier. Thankfully the cashier was able to the math. I’m all for teaching kids that paper and coin money is a real thing to be earned and spent, but since movie theaters won’t let you pause the movie, do us all a favor and teach that lesson somewhere else. Kids are useful to haul away the goodies but not to partake in a bartering session.

Wearing a watch

cylon_centurionWatches are quite annoying and I was hoping they would eventually go away. I think it’s hilarious that marketing has tricked people into wearing watches again. For me, the smartphone did away with the need for a watch. I grew up wearing Ironman triathlons and the rubbery plastic band would begin to reek of rancid cheese after any sort of pre-pubescent physical activity. The watch would also pull the hairs out of your arms if had one of those metal Cylon accordion bands.

But here we are in a smartphone era and watches are still selling. Why are watches so popular now? Because they’re stuffing smartphones into watches. Brilliant!

The Best Anti-depressant?

They say that exercise is the best anti-depressant. However, if you are walking or running and trip over a curb and shatter your femur then things can get really depressing and fast. You will more than likely be prescribed an addictive pain medication. That will then lead to constipation. So now you can’t exercise or poop. Well, at least you can now take a poopie pill to help out with that.

Cream flavored coffee

I see more and more people walking around with what appears to be cups of cream with a straw to siphon out the contents. I hope there is at least a shot of espresso in there.

I’ll pass on what my college professor told me about how to drink black coffee. Start with a cup of cream and add a teaspoon of coffee. Gradually reduce the cream and increase the teaspoons of coffee until it’s blacker than a blackhole’s butthole. Well, he didn’t say the “butthole” part.